


And Another Thing!

by windsweep



Series: kiss the cleric [3]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, M/M, Takes place sometime shortly before PoR Ch. 23, This is four chapters of sleepover talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:20:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25817923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windsweep/pseuds/windsweep
Summary: Rhys. HEY! RHYS! Let me— let me tell you something. You know what I think? One of these days, us common folk are gonna wake up and realise: HEY! There's a shit tonne more of us than there are nobles. And the rich are gonna be fuckin' done for when that happens, mark my words. You and me? We'll have a nice dinner over their graves.Your treat, of course.
Relationships: Kilroy | Rhys/Shinon (Fire Emblem)
Series: kiss the cleric [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1854409
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	1. ON THE HONOUR OF THE WORKING MAN

**Author's Note:**

> Drunk Shinon is a scholar. Behold his theses!

Tonight, Shinon heaves and pants over the bushes, looking at the puddle of his own vomit for lack of anything else to draw his attention. He holds his arms over his upset stomach and feels his knees shake and eyes sting. Maybe he really  _ did  _ have too much to drink this time…

“You’re— quite difficult— to keep up with...” a sweet voice rings between its own gasps for air behind him, and Shinon doesn’t need to turn around to know it belongs to Rhys. Good thing, too, because with the way his head keeps spinning, he doesn’t trust himself not to fall on his ass if he moves so suddenly.

“Rhys…? What’re you doing here?” Shinon manages to slur out despite the burning in his throat.

“Well, I’d intended to check up on General Ike, but I happened to catch the last of your…  _ discussion _ … before you ran off here,” Rhys explains as he approaches. Shinon decides to risk turning  _ slowly _ , just enough to be able to actually see him out of the side of his eye, and is relieved when he doesn’t stumble over himself. Rhys appears to be holding a vial of something. “I’ve got something for you— please don’t give me that look, it’s not a vulnerary this time— it should help you feel better.”

Shinon takes the vial, uncorks it with his other hand, and tosses the liquid down the hatch. The sensation is shocking at first, like swallowing ice, but as the minutes wear on he begins to feel as though he’d never vomited in the first place, let alone twice in a short span of time. All the while, as if helping the potion along, Rhys draws close and rubs circles on his back.  _ Deep breaths, yes, just like that, good,  _ he coos, and Shinon feels grateful that the edges of camp aren’t all that well-lit because Rhys’ words are going in one ear and racing down to his dick. He feels disappointed, irritated even, when Rhys pulls away. 

“Feeling any better?” Rhys asks, courteously keeping his voice down.

“Still drunk.”

Rhys shakes his head. “No, you’re on your own for that. I don’t know any potions that relieve drunkenness. You’ll be on your own tomorrow morning, too… Oh! I’m not here to lecture you, though. I think Titania will do that on her own time later.”

Shinon groans at the thought of waking up tomorrow, hungover, to another one of Titania’s lectures about his alcohol use. He can already formulate what the gist of the “conversation” will be because neither of them have had anything new to say about his habits since the first time she caught him drunk off his ass years ago. Why does she even still bother… “Why’re you here, then?”

“Ah...” Rhys trails off as though what he’s about to say is a little embarrassing to say aloud. “I thought you might want some help getting back to your tent?”

“Escorting me to bed, are you?” Shinon throws an arm behind Rhys and leans on him, allowing him to take the lead. Sounds fine by him if Rhys wants to haul him back all across camp like a sack of potatoes. 

“No! Well, yes, but... not like  _ that _ !” Rhys startles at the sudden contact, but quickly regains his composure and begins walking the two of them, careful not to go too quickly.

“What a gentleman,” Shinon teases, ignoring him, “Better watch out, though. People are gonna get funny ideas about us.”

***

Rhys illuminates the tent with the weakest Light spell he knows as he tries to locate the actual lantern he’s certain is in here somewhere. In the meantime, he accidentally disturbs a pile of rocks lying roughly in the middle of the area. They topple and scatter around their original resting place.

“Not our  _ rocks _ ,” Shinon complains. He breaks away from Rhys to go set the pile as it was again. Rhys can go find the lantern by himself. “Tch… come into my tent and first thing you do is knock over my shit… I was wrong about you being a gentleman.”

“I’m sorry, but why do you have a rock collection?” Soon after, Rhys makes an  _ aha _ sound as he finds and activates the lantern, then dismisses the ball of light floating above the open tome in his hand. He seats himself on the ground afterward, awaiting a response.

“The guy I’m rooming with… is a real freak. I don’t want him getting his hands all over my shit, and I told him as much—  _ don’t touch my shit _ , I says! I get the brilliant idea to build this rock tower marking where he’s allowed to go, ‘cause I don’t want him in my space either.” Shinon settles himself perpendicular to Rhys, at least for now. “I can tolerate him in  _ his  _ space. But not mine.”

“I… see,” Rhys says, just to fill the silence. Shinon swears he sees his mouth open again, just for a second… maybe he was going to ask who he’s been assigned to share a tent with lately? Oh… never mind, it’s shut again. Too bad. Shinon would tell him if only he had the balls to ask outright.

“So now that you’ve escorted me here, are we gonna screw or what?” Shinon makes direct eye contact with Rhys and gradually starts spreading his legs open, but Rhys doesn’t seem interested in the slightest.

“ _ No _ , because first of all, you’re drunk,” Rhys begins with an exasperated sigh, and Shinon straightens himself out. “Secondly, I’m here because I’m still worried about you. It’s been a while since the last time you’ve drunk this much in one night. What’s wrong?”

“What, you wanna hold a maiden’s slumber party with me, is that it? Talk about our feelings all night?”

“We don’t need to talk about our feelings  _ all night _ . I’d just feel better if I stuck with you for now. Please tell me what’s troubling you?”

“Mm, you’re always watchin’ over me, Rhys,” Shinon muses aloud, and although he’s reasonably sure he means it as a compliment in this case, it’s not a hundred per cent. “So I  _ guess _ … I can humour you this once. Just don’t get used to it, and don’t go telling people how I feel.”

“I won’t, I swear it,” Rhys places his hand over his heart briefly to emphasise his promise. The look he gives Shinon tells him that he’s sincerely prepared to listen to his every word. The feeling of expectation being placed upon him right now is just a bit unnerving, even. 

Shinon has a lot of feelings tonight, actually, most of them angry, and takes a deep breath in and out to buy himself time to think how exactly he’s going to express all this information. Rhys is nothing if not patient, though, so he supposes there’s no real time limit. When  _ was _ the last time he just sat down and chewed the fat with someone, anyway? “I rejoined this company ‘cause at the end of the day, I don’t belong anywhere else for how many years of my life I’ve given to it, but— hey, can you pass me my waterskin before I get started? I’m parched. Great, thanks— I don’t like the direction this group have been going in. Not just because of the sub-humans—”

“We call them laguz in this company now,” Rhys corrects.

“Right, so they’re one thing, but Ike taking on a noble title and palling around with all these upper crust folks? What the hell. So Greil dies and we’re all supposed to band behind a professional kiss-ass? Pisses me off.”

“I don’t think that’s how it happened…”

“You don’t _ think _ that’s how it happened,” Shinon parrots with a raised eyebrow, “But you don’t know for sure.”

Rhys looks away, the way Shinon has noticed he usually does when he isn’t quite sure of what he’s about to say next. “In fairness, I wasn’t there when he was granted his title. But it’d have been very unlike him to have sucked up to anyone like that, even to royalty. Maybe even  _ especially _ royalty.”

Shinon clicks his tongue. “Doesn’t matter how unlikely it is when it’s actually happening, does it? He’s tryin’ to move his way up the social ladder  _ and _ boss us regular folk around like he’s still one of us, but you can’t have it both ways. It’s pure greed! The  _ real _ Greil Mercenaries were led by a common man and it oughta stay that way. The only good thing about nobles is their money.”

“Hmm…” Rhys  _ wants _ to disagree, but he thinks back to when Duke Tanas tried to lock Prince Reyson away in one of his spare rooms as though the man had been an elaborate art sculpture. And then tried to do the same to his sister…. Rhys feels an unpleasant taste in his mouth. “...We’ve definitely met some foul nobles since we set out on this journey. But Princess Elincia has been very helpful in treating the injured with me. She’s really very kind. I could introduce y—”

“Good on her for doing the bare minimum and making herself useful. Doesn’t change how I see it. You know why I went looking for work in Daein?”

“For the pay, right?”

“ _ The pay, right?  _ He says,” Shinon puts on a voice clearly meant to imitate Rhys’ and ignores him when he mutters  _ I do  _ **_not_ ** _ sound like that _ … “I’m not a charity. Of course for the pay. But even more important is that you can actually earn a name for yourself there. They don’t care how common your blood is. The skilled and strong rise to the top! There’s a better life ahead if only you just reach out and  _ grab _ it! That’s how it should be  _ everywhere _ . Who cares who your parents are?”

“Shinon, I—”

“Some people’re born with everything handed to them. Why? Because Mommy and Daddy were God’s favourites and now so’s their little noble brat? They don’t do anything to earn what they have, not like the way we  _ work _ for what we’ve got. All they do is roll around in their own decadence and they have the balls to call  _ us  _ filthy. What a joke! Greil saw how bullshit it all is, too, that’s why he only cared about whether you can do your job.”

“My heart still grieves for Greil...” Rhys admits. “He was one-of-a-kind.”

“Yeah. He gave you an opportunity when no-one else wanted to give you the time of day, didn’t he.”

Rhys nods. “Because of my health problems, nobody wanted to hire me. But I didn’t want to continue burdening my parents by staying unemployed my entire life… Getting recruited into the company even though I was still just a rookie healer at the time was really life-changing. I got the chance to see the outside world and make friends for once… I’m very lucky to have met him.”

“I remember how nervous you were when you were just starting out.” The first time Rhys had to treat Shinon’s wounds was due to injuries caused by an enemy mage. Their wind spell had torn apart his clothes and left cuts all over him like so many slashes from a small knife. All of Rhys’ attempts at conversation back then had either promptly shut down or ignored, and he had struggled to find the focus to cast Heal under that intimidating glare… 

Rhys crosses his arms and frowns at the memory. “I seem to recall you giving me a very hard time. You never wanted to make any small talk at first. But you complained about my methods… and my alternative methods… and  _ then _ complained about how long it took me to help you. I’d never had such a difficult patient!”

Something  _ like _ a grin spreads its way over Shinon’s face then. “Toughened you up, though, didn’t it? And now look how good you can work a staff!”

“I’m not sure how those two things are rela—”

“Rhys!” Shinon interrupts him in his lecturing voice, but Rhys  _ swears  _ he hears some amusement behind it this time. “It’s always  _ I don’t think…  _ and  _ I’m not sure…  _ with you. You need more conviction! You’re like me, so you should at least have the pride to disagree with people upfront, like a normal person.”

“Pardon?” Rhys has to repeat what he just heard to make certain he has it right. “ _ I’m _ like you?”

“That’s right. We’re both damn good at what we do, and I, for one, am proud of the fact that I worked for my skill. Bluebloods can sneer at us all they want, but I know they can’t so much as wipe their own asses without getting a maid to do it for ‘em. But it’s fine! You know why?” Shinon starts scooting over so that he’s sitting to Rhys’ side.

Rhys moves slightly away in order to make room for Shinon’s new location. “No… you’ve lost me.”

“Well, I’ll find you again. But what I’ve got to say next is a secret, so keep it to yourself. Make me one of your little promises.”

“Er…” Rhys really doesn’t know where he’s going with this, but keeping whatever important thing Shinon has to say in confidence shouldn’t be any trouble, so… “On my honour, I’ll guard your secret.”

“ _ Oooh, on my honour _ . You’re so  _ gallant _ these days, Rhys. How adorable.” Shinon suddenly wraps an arm around Rhys’ back to clasp his shoulder and pulls him in closer. He brings his mouth near Rhys’ ear as if he’s going to whisper, but nonetheless speaks at the same volume he has been. “Bluebloods are gonna get what’s coming to them one day. It’s just a matter of time. Think about it— we outnumber them, and we’ve even got weapons. They’re spoilt and helpless up in their ivory towers. Once we wake up and snap one day, they’re done for!”

Rhys’ nose twitches at the scent of alcohol on Shinon’s breath. “And what’ll happen after that?”

“Huh? I’m gonna drink in celebration, that’s what. You can join me if you want, with your water or milk or tea or whatever the fuck. It’ll be grand.”

“J-just the two of us?” This sounds suspiciously like a dinner date proposal, but Shinon sends so many mixed signals that Rhys knows he should temper his expectations. Easier thought than done, though, caught in a very rare embrace as he is right now. He feels something warm across his cheeks.

“Anyone else is gonna spoil my good mood. Just make sure you take us someplace nice.”

“ _ I’m _ paying for it?”

  
“Well, good of you to offer!” Shinon gives him a firm shake before he lets go of him. “Don’t bail out on me when the time comes. Remember your  _ honour _ , Sir Rhys!”


	2. ON THE REALLY WEIRD FUCKIN' TENT-MATE

“Shinon? You mentioned that you’re sharing this tent with someone earlier.”

“I recall that.”

“May I ask who it is?”

“He’s tall…” Shinon spreads his hands apart vertically to demonstrate about how tall he thinks this man is. Rhys catches the fact that Shinon hasn’t been filing down his nails lately and winces at the sight of them, but Shinon doesn’t notice him. “Green hair. Reasonably sure he’s a swordsman. You know him.”

“Stefan…?” Rhys ventures a guess, but really, there’s only one person in their company that fits that description. Did Shinon really not bother to learn his name? Rhys supposes he shouldn’t be so surprised.

“You know him,” Shinon confirms. “He ain’t right in the head. Where’d you guys even find him?”

“Oh, I think Lethe— she’s the cat laguz woman travelling with us— she met him wandering out alone in the desert.”

“What the fuck.” Ike let  _ anyone _ into the Mercenaries these days. Up to and including some weirdo the cat dragged in, apparently. What a sad state of affairs. Then again, that could also mean that his departure left them so hard up for competent fighters that they  _ had _ to take in people from the middle of nowhere to get back what they lost. Actually, Shinon likes the sound of that. He takes a certain spiteful glee at the thought of Ike struggling without him.

“It  _ was  _ rather unexpected,” Rhys grants him, “But before you tell me more about how he’s menaced you, can you give me your hand? Your nails are really quite long, Shinon. I can cut them for you.”

“What…? Sure, I guess.” Shinon holds out one of his hands and Rhys holds it flat against one of his, using the other one to dig a little knife out of one of his robe’s pockets. Rhys urges him to please stay still as he begins with Shinon’s index finger. It’s nice to feel the warmth and weight of Shinon’s hand in his… 

“Sorry for interrupting you. Just that… they can really hurt when you dig them into my back,” Rhys says, sheepish laughter behind his voice.

“What’s this?” Shinon cracks a smirk as he teases. “Rhys has an ulterior motive?”

“Haha… yes, perhaps. Please continue?”

“For the record, he isn’t menacing me. At least not yet.” Just the opposite, in fact. Shinon scarcely caught sight of Stefan after they parted ways in the mornings, but that just makes him all the more suspicious. Although that was his main issue with him, Shinon is all too happy to unload the laundry list of other complaints. “He’s too familiar with me. Way too chipper in the morning. Fucks off to God knows where all the time. And doesn’t got any friends besides those cats.”

“Oh, Lethe and Mordecai?” Rhys asks, even though he expects Shinon to noncommittally shrug in response, which he does. “I’m concerned about— oh, sorry. May I have your other hand? Thank you. As I was saying, I’m concerned about your paranoia sometimes. I’m very happy to be your friend, but what are you going to do if I pass away?”

“You’re not gonna die. Don’t be absurd. I’ll stick an arrow in anyone who tries it.”

“From  _ illness _ , Shinon.”

“Oh. Haven’t thought about it,” Shinon admits earnestly. “Go be alone for a while, probably. I don’t really feel the urge to get all buddy-buddy with people.” Other people approach him, and if Shinon decides he doesn’t hate them, or if they don’t get driven off by his personality, he might let them stick around a while longer. That’s how it’s been with all the ‘friendships’ he recalls making, in any case.

“But…” Rhys only has two fingers left to trim the nails of, but doesn’t want to let go of Shinon’s hand. Will he notice if Rhys deliberately slows down…? “Don’t you ever miss Gatrie?”

“Gatrie…” Is probably getting lost somewhere, or wasting more money on snake oils and alleged good luck charms, or making eyes at every woman he comes across… actually, there was no  _ probably  _ about that last one. Damned fool. Hadn’t he told him to get some standards already? “...Needed to learn to be more independent anyway. I couldn’t always be standing watch over him even if we  _ didn’t _ split up, although God knows he needs it. A solo career could be good for him.” Aside from the fact that one of his clients had apparently died while he was on the job. That probably didn’t bode well for him, but, them’s the breaks. “...Hey. Almost done with my hand yet?”

“Ah— yes, of course.” Rhys finishes trimming his nails and returns his hand to him. Rhys’ own hand feels empty. “But… your reasons for being so distrustful of Stefan don’t really make any sense. You also take off alone often, and you’re friends with Janaff—”

“Hold on. Janaff isn’t my _friend_ , we just work together because his keen eyesight happens to be helpful to me.” Janaff was another one who had an irritatingly energetic attitude that eroded his patience, but Shinon supposes it’s better to work with someone who was alert and attentive than someone who was just going to be a worthless layabout anyway, even if he _did_ need to tone it down. He didn’t entirely trust that the hawk wouldn’t disembowel him with his talons given the chance, but a flying target was especially susceptible to arrows, so as long as he got the first shot in… “I tolerate him, that’s all. And _maybe,_ just _maybe_ we’ve got one or two things in common.” 

Shinon doesn’t know why Rhys has that hopeful look on his face. “So— there we have it. Beorc and laguz have things in common, so I just don’t understand why it’d be so odd to make laguz friends.”

“You’re right, you  _ don’t _ understand.  _ We _ —” Shinon flicks one of his wrists back and forth, index finger extended, to indicate a connection between himself and an invisible person; Rhys assumes he means Janaff. “Have some shit in common. The rest of the beast folk are a different species to me. Literally.” If Rhys really doesn’t get why it’s so strange to only closely associate with a different species when there’s plenty of your own people around, that’s on him. They all had fought sub-humans and seen how much more dangerous they are than humans, not to mention how finicky they could be with their alliances, with their own eyes. But maybe that still wasn’t enough for him.

Rhys sighs deeply in order to suppress the urge to shout in frustration. “I just wish I understood why you always shut yourself off to everyone. You’re going to have a very lonely life that way, Shinon, and I worry after you. I’m going to start praying for you.” ...But Shinon is unresponsive to this line of conversation, so Rhys supposes that’s all they will speak on the matter tonight.


	3. ON THE VALUE OF ART

Shinon rummages around his side of the tent and produces a small cloth pouch tied shut with rope. Thank whatever’s responsible for what little good in the world that Stefan hadn’t gotten his dirty paws on his secret stash. Not his sweets. Not his treats. He loosens the rope to shake out two prism-shaped objects wrapped individually in paper, together taking up the full space of his palm, and motions for Rhys to take one.

“You oughta try one of these,” Shinon says. “You’re a smart guy. You should have a refined enough palate to appreciate it.”

Rhys takes one and peels the thin paper away to reveal what is apparently some kind of food, although he’s never before seen anything like it. It’s a cube of  _ something  _ topped with chopped fruits and nuts and dusted with what he assumes is some kind of sugar. When he gives it a squeeze with his fingers, it remains firm. “Shinon… you like candy?”

“No,  _ candies _ are what Rolf eats to spoil his appetite before dinner.” Somebody’s got to stop him from doing that if they haven’t already, by the way. Maybe Shinon could try telling him that eating candy instead of real food will make him grow worms in his stomach. Will the thought of maggots spontaneously generating in his guts, writhing along his intestines, still frighten him, or has he seen and done too much by now to believe such an obvious lie? Hm. “ _ These _ are  _ delights _ . Or  _ confections _ , but that’s too hoity-toity for me, personally. You’re looking at it like it’s gonna wind up and bite you. Relax and try it.”

Rhys grabs the food in his fingers and brings it up to his face for a small bite, to Shinon’s approval. Yes, exactly that way. Because they’re relatively little, you’re meant to savour them bit by bit. Shinon  _ knew _ he was smart.

Or, maybe not as smart as he was hoping. As he chews, Rhys brings his mouth against the side of his fist and holds it there, his gaze moving about in confusion. Was there something wrong? “Ah… Shinon, I’m very grateful that you shared your favourite sweet with me.” That’s not a good sign. He’s about to say that he doesn’t like it. Three… two… “It has a… unique taste?” There it is.

Shinon brings his free hand to his face. “The flavour is too subtle for you,” he groans, slightly muffled by his hand, “This is why I never share with anyone. Why don’t you go ask Rolf for some  _ candies _ that you can appreciate?”

Rhys eats the rest of it just to avoid wasting food, for which Shinon is quietly grateful. He’d probably spent more gold than he should have when he bought these things from that red-headed travelling merchant, but how often did he get to eat something  _ good _ these days? Just because they were probably marching to their deaths doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy the little things in life along the way. “And how long have you been a gourmand?”

“Years! Easily. But I don’t stop at food, I want the best  _ everything _ . I work my ass off and risk my life every day of it, so I deserve to have good things. I’ve earned them. And so have you!”

“I’m flattered by the sentiment, really, but…”

“Oh, shut up. I’m not flattering you and you know it. Just take the compliment.”

“I will. Thank you,” says Rhys, and he watches Shinon eat in silence. Shinon is satisfied with only one delight this time, feeling the need to preserve them because only Ashera knows when She’ll allow him the chance to buy more when he runs out. Then again, She could also decide that his time on Tellius is over before he has the chance to finish his current batch… hm. Decisions, decisions…

“...Rhys!” Shinon blurts out all of a sudden, and Rhys jumps at the sudden noise.

“Y-yes, Shinon?”

“Don’t forget that food can be  _ good _ . They’re feeding us slop because right now eating is just a matter of not starving to death. But it can be a lot better than this.” 

“Alright...”

“And Oscar’s the one halfway good cook we’ve got, so it’s easy to forget it.” Oscar clearly knew his way around the kitchen and Shinon respects that. He recalls very few occasions where he was unsatisfied with the results of his cooking. Everyone else’s food had been  _ edible _ , sure, but bland in comparison, and… “And… that’s a shame. Food shouldn’t be something you shovel down your gullet just to survive. The culinary arts… are some of the only ones that are worth anything. I guess life would be just plain dismal if there wasn’t any music, either. We ever come across a harpsichord and I’ll play you something. Point is… the rest of it is nothing but decadence.”

“Oh, Shinon, you’re a musician!” He’d never mentioned it before, so this is surprising to Rhys. Now that he thinks about it, he supposes he _ can _ imagine Shinon standing before a harpsichord, fingers deftly running along its keys as he keeps a steady gaze on the score in front of him. Did the others know about this talent of his?

“What, just because I can play an instrument? No.”

“That’s precisely what a musician is?”

“No, it’s just something I did growing up because there wasn’t shit to do and I’d get bored.”

“But you say you can walk up to a harpsichord and start playing it although it’s been a while. Surely you spent a lot of time at it? You cultivated talent at music. I think you are or were a musician.”

“It’s not a talent, it’s like a horrible compulsion,” Shinon says, pulling a frown at his own childhood memories of standing in front of the family harpsichord, receiving lessons from his mother. The hours spent with her always wore long because of her exacting expectations, and when Shinon looks back at it what he remembers most vividly were the aches in his arms and legs, the burning feeling in his wrists, and the frustration of not being able to play _ this one passage _ quite correctly but also not being allowed to stop until he finally got it right. Why had it been  _ his _ problem that his parents couldn’t fulfil their own musical pursuits? “Like a demon compelling me to get my hands all over one whenever I see it. I don’t wanna argue semantics with you. That’s dumb. Music and food are the only arts worth a damn. End of.”

“I don’t know, I’ve seen some pretty impressive paintings…” Rhys recalls looking up at the ceiling the first time the group had entered the grand palace where the Apostle resides. Images of pegasi proudly flying among soft clouds in a bright blue sky had hung overhead them, and Rhys had wondered, not for the first time, how nice it must be to be able to fly…

“ _ Painting _ past the age of— how old is Rolf again? Like twelve years old, right?”

“Yes, but I do believe his birthday is coming up.”

Holy fuck. Almost thirteen years old already… “Anyway, as I was saying, painting past that age is for people who are either rich pansies with nothing to contribute to society, or suckers who are play-acting being a rich pansy with nothing to contribute to society. Artists spend their lives locked up in their little rooms jacking themselves off. Look how many of them make ‘careers’ out of painting naked broads! There ain’t nothing interesting about a lady’s tits that warrants that many paintings of them.”

“I and many other people would disagree with you about that.”

“Disagree all you want! I’m right! They’re a buncha… worthless, snivelling perverts. If they got real jobs they wouldn’t have to draw fake naked ladies. They could get the attention of a  _ real  _ naked lady if they just made something of themselves. I would know—  _ hypothetically _ I would know, I don’t wanna see any naked ladies— because I work for a living.”

Rhys reaches behind Shinon’s head to undo the tie holding his hair up; Shinon’s red hair cascades down his back. “These are an awful lot of judgemental thoughts to have about people in the abstract. Are you certain you’re not imagining reasons to be upset, here?”

“There’s nothing to invent. They do a good job pissing me off just by existing in their natural state. Each and every one of them thinks they’re a genius, but their so-called work doesn’t produce any value. Decadent. Lifestyle. And don’t get me started on poets.”

“I promise you that I won’t get you started on poets.”

“ _ Thank you! _ ” 

“But I have to contest that painting isn’t work. It takes many hours to complete even one piece, doesn’t it? And there are certain techniques to it—”

Shinon waves his hand dismissively. “No, no, no… I’m sure there’s technique to it or whatever, but it’s not  _ work _ , there’s no  _ value  _ to it. If tomorrow Ashera decided, ‘You know what,  _ fuck _ painters after all,’ and condemned them all to their deaths, life would still go on. Not the same for us two. Value. We have value. Besides, rich people art just ends up locked away in a vault somewhere, right. If there’s no-one around to see it, then it’s extra worthless. Pointless and gaudy status symbol. I hate it.” 

“Alright… alright, please let me know if I have this straight.”

“Go on.” Shinon, stretches, yawning, and when he’s done he lies down to settle his head in Rhys’ lap. Rhys begins to idly play with his long hair, running his fingers slowly along as though to savour the feeling of it.

“Paintings… valueless. Poetry… valueless. But the culinary arts and music are valuable? What makes the difference between them?”

“That’s simple. The way I’d put it is… when Oscar cooks up and seasons a boar just right, and we all eat it for dinner, that has value because we aren’t starving that night. That’s the bare minimum that food does, though. He goes above and beyond in making it taste good because he has skill and knows what he’s doing. And he had to work for that. But don’t tell him I have all these compliments for the chef. I want him to stay humble.”

“You have my word. What about music, then?”

“‘Cause I’m good at it, and it’s depressing to go into a bar that’s got no music playing. That’s the value of music.”

“So you  _ are _ a musician…” Rhys mutters.

“Not this again!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was my favourite chapter to write by far. did anyone else get fed the lie about growing worms in your stomach if you ate candy for breakfast? i never believed it and did it anyway.


	4. ON HEALING, GOD, AND HEAVEN

“Rhys… Hey. Rhys,” Shinon calls up to him. Rhys had dozed off, but he blinks himself awake now.

“Yes, Shinon? What is it?” he asks with a yawn.

“If you were a real clergyman, you’d get excommunicated for fucking a patient, right?”

“If it was found that I had a  _ sexual relationship _ with a patient, yes, I think a scandal is the very least I could expect. It’s widely considered to be a very inappropriate thing to do.”

“Why, though? We’re both grown men and I  _ want _ your cock.”

Rhys shushes him and uses a hand to cover Shinon’s mouth. Shinon, meanwhile, erupts in laughter behind Rhys’ hand, to the point of needing to catch his breath. Rhys isn’t sure he’s ever heard this sound from him, and wants to take in the novelty of it, but nonetheless waits for his giggle fit to be over before he speaks. “You’re being very loud right now. Are you aware of how loud you’re being? Promise me you’ll quiet down after I let you go?”

Shinon nods his head and Rhys withdraws his hand, hoping that he won’t regret this. When he finds that Shinon doesn’t say anything in the moments that follow, he decides to carry on with what he was intending to say.

“I know that, but I think it’s the principle of the thing. Your patient depends on you for help, so to make such advances is seen as taking advantage of that fact…” Putting it that way, maybe Rhys has been doing something very wrong, humouring Shinon’s lust as he had been. A cold feeling runs down his back as he considers the thought. “Shinon? Am I…”

“What? No. We’re equals. Fixin’ me up sometimes is just something you do for me because we’re… companions… just like how sometimes you stroke me off. It’s just something you do, ‘cause you want to or you care about me or whatever. Don’t worry about it.”

“Alright. If you’re sure.”

“If I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t’ve said anything. But… hey, you don’t do any  _ favours _ for anyone else, right?”

“No, it’s just you.”

“That’s good…” And it  _ is _ good because that means Shinon is the only person who’s ever seen Rhys the way he has. He doesn’t trust anyone else to treat him right, to not have any ill intentions for him, and the thought of someone else’s hands on his bare body makes Shinon  _ angry _ for some reason. As if they could ever deserve him. “Y’know… healers are really smart. The rest of us are doing all the killing, but you guys still get to go to Heaven, right?”

“No, Shinon, I have no illusions about going to Heaven,” Rhys replies, and Shinon notices that he doesn’t sound as sad about it as he probably should.

“What? Bullshit!  _ You’re  _ not going to Heaven? Yes you are.”

“I don’t think so… I  _ do  _ have blood on my hands…” In the back of his mind, Rhys can still hear the agonised screams of the man whose life he had stolen some months ago. The way that soldier had clawed at his eyes as though trying to get the light out of them, and the way he had curled into himself and rolled along the ground in his final moments like he’d been consumed with fire… Rhys had realised that light magic could be just as dangerous as any other weapon then. He does his best to dismiss the memory and keep it together for now. “But even if I didn’t… is there really much difference between killing someone yourself and enabling someone else to do it? I don’t regret joining this company even in the slightest, but in the eyes of the Goddess it’s wrong to spill the blood of your fellow man. We all come from the same creator, after all.”

“Bullshit,” Shinon repeats, “That’s bullshit. Heaven must be empty if a goody two-shoes like you isn’t allowed. Bet it’s all Ashera’s cruel trick… wants to see how many people will jump if She tells them to.”

“Your concept of Ashera is so scary…. Do you really think the creator made us all from nothing just to torture us, or have you been messing with me all this time?”

“I’m dead serious. All the good things in my life happen because of me. The rest is Her visiting misfortune on me for Her own amusement.”

“I think She is testing us so that She can more accurately judge our souls when we die. The tribulations we face aren’t meant to be so personal. You’d find life boring if there weren’t any obstacles to overcome, anyway, wouldn’t you?”

Shinon grumbles. He hates it when Rhys has a point. A life where you couldn’t prove your strength and superiority over others would be pretty empty, though, he’s right. “Okay, maybe you’re not wrong. Still don’t like Her. And I never will.”

“That’s fine. I’m not trying to change your mind. But to get back to the original point… I don’t view myself as separate to the fighters of this company, no. We work because of our cooperation, right? The way I see it is that we protect one another.”

“ _ You _ protecting  _ me _ , huh?” Shinon feels a potential sarcastic quip forming in his brain right then, but he decides to let it go. Rhys had been putting in  _ work _ their past couple of battles, even after his only Physic staff had broken, leaving him to run across the battlefield to tend to the wounded up close, the old-fashioned way. The exertion must be hard on him, but he carried on dutifully nonetheless. Shinon didn’t know whether he felt more angry about or appreciative of his efforts sometimes. “...Yeah, I guess I can see it like that.”

“And I feel much safer with you and the others looking after me.”

“Oh yeah? So then stick close to me when we fight from now on.” Shinon feels his eyelids getting heavy. Maybe he’ll shut them, just for a second… “We’ve got a lot more healers now than we used to, don’t we. You can afford to—”  _ That _ was a long yawn. Maybe he’ll be resting for a bit longer than a few seconds, after all. Rhys won’t mind being his pillow, he’s sure. “...can afford to do that.”

“Well— yes, I suppose I can, can’t I? Sure, I’ll go with you, if it’ll give you peace of mind. But— Shinon, you’re not really going to fall asleep on my lap, are you?”

“I sure am!”

“...Shinon, I need to get back to the med te—”

“Good night, Rhys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well. it's over. i had lots of fun with these two but i really don't like AUs and i'm done with PoR so i'll have to see if radiant dawn inspires me to do any more with them. thanks for reading my silly rarepair fic <3


End file.
